Are soul mates fact or fiction ?

One and only ?

Is there a one- and only-person out there for you? The answer is no. Several leaders of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints have said that any righteous man and women can make a marriage work if they are willing to put in the work.

 Why is the idea of a soul mate such a dangerous concept? It is because when people have the idea that there is one perfect person out there for them, they think that once they find them their marriage will be bliss. They will believe that when they marry their soul mate there will never be any contention between them and if there is then they must not be the one they were meant to be with. Couples may not try to resolve their differences and just give up on the marriage to go search for their one and only.

Choose to stay

 

 When we recognize that the person, we marry is someone we choose and not someone who is chosen for us  we work hard to make our marriage work. Of course, there are people that we will get along better with then others and we need to find someone who we have things in common with and when we re married we need to work to have more things in common with our spouse. When we are already married, we need to work to find common interests, we need to keep learning about our spouse. Eternal marriages are created, and they are not something that happens by chance, we do not find our soul mate, but our spouses can become our soul mate when we make our spouse our biggest priority. Marriages require work, patience, personal growth, compromise, commitment and sacrifice (Hawkins, Dollhite, Draper. Pg.11).  

Effective listening 

Creating our soul mates also requires effective communication. One aspect of effective communication is empathic listening, which is letting our spouses know that to help the person we are listening to feel valued. This is a goal I have when it comes to listening to my husband. Often, I catch myself only half listening to what he is saying and  often he will sense that I am only half listening and apologize for bothering me. When I am not listening to my husband with all my heart and mind, I am missing out on moments that can help build a celestial marriage. When we work constantly on improving our marriage, we can have the marriage that we want with anyone who is also willing to put in the work to make our marriages work.

Hawkins, Dollahite & Draper (2020) . Successful Marriages and Families : Proclamtion and principles research perspectives. Brigham Young University