In the blink of an eye

The experience I have had writing this blog this semester has been really rewarding. I have learned things about my self and my marriage that I want to improve. This week is no exception. What I have learned in my class this week is the importance of wholesome recreation and work  in family and married life. I have learned that when we engage in wholesome recreation with our spouse and family it brings us closer together.

Free time 

                                                    

In our world today we have an abundance of free time and we often make poor choices about how we spend it. We have an infinite amount of  entertainment and information right at our fingertips and if we are not careful, we will end up wasting away our days staring at our phones and not paying much attention to the most important person in our lives our spouses. I am guilty of this. The days seem long but the years are short and before we know it two or three years have gone by. Do we want to fill our days and years binging Netflix and scrolling though Facebook or do we want to spend that time growing closer to our spouse while having fun and  enriching experiences with them? I know that I want to spend my much of my free time making memories with my husband.  

So many choices 

There are many ways we recreate, and they are not all created equal. We can recreate alone by sitting and reading a book and  we can also engage in  parallel recreation  with our spouse by watching TV with them or sitting next to each other while reading a book.  These are fine forms of recreation done in moderation and even better if you are snuggled up together on the couch while TV watching or reading. Being together while not necessarily interacting with one another has some positive effect on marital satisfaction. But when we engage in joint activities where we are communicating with one another and may even have to depend on one another it leads to the highest marital satisfaction. My textbook gave examples of some good joint activities they include

•  canoeing
•  tennis
•  chess
•  rock climbing.                                                                                                                                             My husband and I are not really into sports, but I love to idea of getting outside and canoeing because when you  are canoeing you are cooperating  to move the canoe through the water at the same time enjoying one another's company. There are lots of ways to recreate together we can 
• exercise
•  hike 
•  go on walks
• snowboard
•  ski                                                                                                                                                                    It doesn't really matter as much what your doing as much as that you are enjoying your time together and becoming closer to one another while doing it. 

Creating something strong

Some of my favorite moments in my marriage are the times when my husband and I go out running together, this does not happen all that often and that is something I would like to change. I love the  conversation that  seems to flow while we are running side by side. There is also always some good nature teasing and friendly competition. We also encourage each other to push ourselves a little harder. Not only are we making our physical bodies stronger but we are making out marriage stronger. 

This last  weekend we went  ax throwing, I had only done it once before and my husband had never done it.  We kept score so we had a friendly competition although it wasn't much of one because he was so much better at it then me. There was some good natured teasing. Although my husband was so much better at axe throwing then me he didn't make me feel bad. It was a fun time. I don't know if we will go again or not but it was a good time and enriching to our marriage. 

Ideas 

There are so many things we can do with one another to recreate and spend our free time. I look forward to finding more creative ways to recreate with my husband. Tell me in the comments what are some ways you recreate with your spouse; I am anxious to hear your ideas and to maybe implement them into my life.

Love and work 

Another way to make our marriages strong is to work together. This is also something that  my husband and I could be better at. We often have our own work where we work apart from each other and we don't see much of each other. But the times where we work together is when we have really great conversations. In fact we made a big decision that affected our family while working side by side together in the garden. I remember one time when we were working together to paint our house we had so much fun talking I didn't want it to end, I kept trying to think of more things to have my husband to do so he could stay working with me longer. There is a quote in my text book that explains why work is so effective at bringing couples together it says " From  a spiritual  perspective , work done with a minimum of concentration leaves our  minds free to focus on another we labor". I  think that when we are not so focused on trying to think of things to say our thoughts flow freely and the conversation flows naturally. 

Weather we are recreating together or working together I hope that we can spend our time growing closer to our spouses. Lets all make a goal to do things with our spouse that will help us grow closer to one another weather it is going running or doing dishes together they are all important. 

 

Dollahite, Draper and Hawkins (2020) Successful marriages and families: Proclamation principles and     research perspectives. Brigham Young University